Being Brave

I’m a scaredy cat. Ever since I can remember, there were many things that I was afraid of:   the dark, worms on the sidewalk, roller coasters.  Some of those fears I’ve conquered.  But with the years came new fears: speaking in public, playing sports, taking off my cover-up on the beach, moving to another country. I keep trying to slay those dragons, but I’ve never felt invincible. I think of all the worst case scenarios and it’s always a stretch for me to face my fears. 

As an adult, I think I’ve pushed through some of my biggest fears in the last year.  And now, after going through some valleys, I’m standing at one of the many peaks of my life.  I’ve gotta show you the view.    

Jaelin, Eli and Wilo riding to the peak of Whistler Mtn.

 

A few months ago, Kumar met with a church member for lunch. This church member, Jeff, tells the story of  how he told God (before the meeting), “Whatever this new pastor asks, he’ll get 3 yeses.”  I laugh when Jeff tells this story, but when I sit down and think about it, it’s the scariest thing I can imagine  - 3 unequivocal yeses? to someone you barely know?!!

The introvert in me says, “That’s crazy!”

The scaredy cat says, “That’s dangerous! 

The skeptic in me says, ‘That’s just stupid!”

But Jeff must have really trusted God with this new pastor (He clearly didn't know Kumar yet), and at that meeting, he gave Kumar 3 yeses.

One of the things that Jeff ended up agreeing to was baptism.  This wasn't a lunchtime convert. Jeff is a long-time church attender.  He participated fully at church and considered himself an Adventist.  I don’t think God required an actual water baptism for Jeff to be saved. I think he was already saved.  But when Jeff was baptized just a few weeks later, people at the church began to see Jeff differently.  Even though Jeff had sat and served with them for more than 10 years, they began treating him like a new Christian – with all of the grace and love that new Christians are allowed.  This was very different than the way that we lifetime Adventists treat each other (“You are family, so let me tell you what I really think of you.”) and completely different than the way we treat visitors(“I’ll be kind and polite, but I'm not going to invest in you as part of my family”).  I’m not sure if God had Jeff get baptized for himself or for us – in the end it was for everybody. 

As Christians, we are supposed to be making the decision to be saved, the decision to live for Jesus, every day.  Every day, I’m a new Christian, and if you choose Him every day, you are too. Don’t you want to be treated as such?    

Do you remember that “day you got baptized feeling”?  It’s like the new baby (or new car) smell – so full of love and potential and dreams to be fulfilled.  God has those dreams for us, not just on that first day that we’ve accepted him into our lives.  God’s sense of time is different that our understanding of time on earth.  He has hope for us every day.  He probably has new aspirations for us every hour or every second.  When we say, “no thanks”, he keeps asking.  When we choose a different path, he clears new routes to a life fulfilled.  I once heard Dr. Tsabary, a parenting expert, say, “We must love our children into their greatness.”  God, my heavenly father and mother, is loving me into greatness every day.

And now, at this peak (a sunny day in my new home country)  I can firmly say when you put aside your fears and allow God work in your life  – he will take your farther and further than you ever thought that you would go.  He will surprise you with awesome opportunities, funny new friends, and exciting adventures.  Before you know it, you will be happier than you thought possible. Do I sound like Dr. Seuss?  It’s true. 

Every time I cross the border (to pick up mail and Cheese Itz), the US Customs officer asks “Why would you move to Canada?”  and Kumar says “God.”  We believe that God has called us here.  It was years in the making, cause God knows that I move s-l-o-w-l-y. We believed when the seed was first planted during camp meeting in 2012. We believed a little deeper when were asked asked to interview here 18 months later.  We believed more fully when we visited, when we accepted, and when friends sent us pictures of a comfortable home.  There were moments of doubt – looking for schools, saying good-bye to Maryland, arguing with Canadian officials at the border.  No, it hasn’t been a perfect transition, but is anything in this life truly perfect?  Now almost one year later- when I’m frustrated with my new life, I have to think back and remember when I first believed that God was calling me to go somewhere new.  If I really am called, I have to trust that he will do a good work in the life He has created for me. 

I have to take the trust I have in myself – my education, my abilities, my connections and fully lay that trust in God. I have to be brave. 

It’s my word of the year, my song of a year, the lyrics on my heart as I travel through my day and dream about my future.

 This year, I believe, God wants me to be brave. Bravery is not stupidity.  I’m too much of a nervous nelly to go into something new without research and planning.  And I’ too much of a skeptic to not ask God for confirmation over and over again before I try something brave. He doesn’t try to “fix” those things within me – he works with me, and loves me until I trust enough to take even one tiny step. I love that about Him.

I think its obvious that I love to write – this blog helps me clarify my values and my feelings on important things (and some unimportant things).  I enjoy putting words to paper.  But why do I share it with you on the internet?  Am I looking for a book deal?  Do I want to be rich and famous?  Maybe one day those things will hold some value to me, but right now, I write because I love you – my readers.  “My readers” – it sounds like a fan club or something. You are not my “fans” like the Backstreet boys have fans.  (I won’t be sending you T-shirts).  My readers are my friends, my family, people I’ve connected with in some way.  I’ve shared so much with so many of you in personal, private conversations, back and forth text messages, and long heartfelt emails.  Many of you know my heart and read these words in my voice. 

I love you and want you to be brave too.

 

It’s scary.

You think God might not catch you.

He might lead you to do something really hard.

You don’t want Him to teach you patience or forgiveness.  I don’t want to learn those things the hard way, either.

But all of those catchy phrases (i.e. Bible verses) are true…. 

trust on the Lord and lean not to your own understanding,

you can do all things through Christ,

in all things God works for good in those who love him and are called according to his purpose.

Be brave – taste and see that the Lord is good. It’s worth it.