Wednesday 19 March 2014

Turning 40 (part 2)

 

11.      Learned to say “No” and “yes” – I’m not a “yes” person – I’m actually a “no” person.  My first reaction is “no” to most requests, but now that I know that, I try to wait, take the time to think through things and then make a decision.  Sometimes that pushing myself to say yes to things, if there is no good reason to say no.  Sometimes there needs to be a balance of doing things for myself, for others, and just to face my fears.
12.     Asked for help when I needed it – I’m an introvert and a control freak – a bad combination.  I’d prefer to clone myself and get things done without interacting with others, but that’s just not possible.  Through the years, I’ve had to learn that I cannot do everything on my own.  So now, I ask for help.  The worst they can do is say no.  Usually I just keep asking until they say yes. 
13.     Found the big dipper – I grew up in Pathfinders, a mixed gender scouting group by the Seventh Day Adventist church.  In Pathfinders, we studied constellations, birds, plants and learned to appreciate the great outdoors.  I’m not a nature fanatic, but I have basic skills and an appreciation for nature that started with Mr. Jack and Ms. Joyce (our pathfinder leaders).  I’m now reliving those experiences with Jaelin in her first year in Pathfinders. 
14.     Became a voter - When I became a US citizen at 18 years old, I was still indoctrinated by my conservative Christian high school (All Christians were Republicans there).  I’m still a registered republican, but now I form my own ideas about who and what to vote for, and in the last few elections, I’ve been happy and proud to take my kids with me to experience democracy in action.
15.     Explored a city on my own – I didn’t travel much as a kid, and my strict Indian parents were not ones to let me go off on my own, even as an adult.  But now, I get to travel to conferences occasionally for my job or with Kumar and I get a wonderful feeling when I walk around a new city or figure out public transportation on my own.  It’s a feeling of independence that I just love! 
16.     Felt comfortable speaking in front of a group – I’m an introvert, and for many years as a kid, I hated raising my hand to give an answer in class.  In college I took 2 public speaking classes, and even when I graduated I felt nervous speaking in front of people.  Now, at 40, I don’t particularly enjoy being in front of a crowd, but I can speak in front of people when it’s necessary.  Just knowing that makes me feel capable and strong. 
17.     Wrote and shared poetry –I attended a lecture at the Walters art museum with a slam poet, Gayle Danely.  I’m not a poet, and I can’t slam dunk or rap, but I love art so I signed up for this teacher workshop.  It was extremely interesting and engaging and - I ended up sharing my poetry, which was way too stressful for an introvert like me. This is so not something I imagine doing again, but I did it once.
18.     Fixed something myself - I have pretty good spatial awareness skills, and I can read directions, so that makes me a little bit handy.  I routinely hang pictures, put together Ikea furniture, and occasionally fix the dishwasher or garbage disposal.  They are little things, I know, but it fills me with accomplishment when I tell Kumar, “It’s fixed – I figured it out” – even if I just googled it. 
19.     Won a cooking contest – I like food.  I like cooking it, eating it, and watching other people cook/eat it on TV.  The monotony of cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner for my family every day can get to me, but cooking is not just a life skill for me  - it’s a hobby.  And I have a group of cousins/friends who take cooking to another level. I’m proud to be the 2008 winner of the “Cousins Cook-off” against a crew of incredibly talented and competitive chefs. 
20. Learned to sew – I just learned how to use a sewing machine this year.  It takes patience, but it’s nice to know that I can hem Ikea drapes, clothes and eventually make all sorts of other creative things with my new skill.
21. Learned to ski – As we reach middle age, some people want to stick to what they are good at.  I want to learn something new.  Learning to ski wasn’t that hard.  It was fun, especially with my kids.  I think they liked learning something new together. 
22. Ran a 5k – I’ve never been an athlete. I was the last person picked in PE all the time and I didn’t care.  I was good at other things and developed those talents. Now I realize that I need exercise to be healthy, so I’ve been developing my skills as an athlete.  I ran a 5K about 5 years ago, and now I’m training for a 10k.  We’ll see where this leads. 
23. Practiced yoga – Yoga is patience, balance and control. I’ve never been a regular, but I think it’s time to be.  Having a yoga practice helps me physically and mentally.  For you extroverts who just blurt out everything you think, us introverts think too - The mind of an introvert runs a mile a minute.  Yoga is way for me to clear my mind (because its hard to think and balance at the same time).
24. Volunteered – This is a really great thing about Christianity. If you are raised in a church, you are raised a volunteer.  In Pathfinders, in my Christian high school, in college and in church, I’ve volunteered everywhere and anywhere. I’ve rocked sick babies, worked in soup kitchens, tutored poor kids in the city, and picked up trash on the side of road.  Each of those experiences helped me realize how fortunate I really am.  Those experiences also helped me gravitate towards a career that values helping people. 
25. Sponsored a child- Kumar thinks I’m a sucker for this kind of stuff.  I’m actually pretty skeptical of most NGOs, but a few years ago, I heard WesStafford (then president of Compassion International) speak at a conference. I was so taken with his story that I read his book and then ended up sponsoring 2 children from his organization.  Wes says its not the money, it’s the relationship that’s important, so I’ve really tried to keep writing regularly to these kids.  I hope I’m making a difference in their lives. 
26. Went on a mission trip – Not as a student, but as a chaperone.  Kumar and I took a group from our Celebration church in California to an orphanage close to Ensenada, Mexico.  Although the group generally had a good time, I didn’t find the mission trip very worthwhile.  I’m not really a fan of short-term missions.  Jamie the very worstmissionary explains it best:
27. Never stopped learning - I love to learn.  In college I hung with a group of friends who really expanded my ideas about race, religion and identity.  Hearing people talk about their life experiences, as similar or as different as they might be, makes me feel like we are all connected.  My favorite book event is the LA Times Book fair, where I was fortunate enough to attend and sit in lectures next to near Chitra Divakaruni and Salmon Rushdie
28. Found my calling as an SLP – It was a path I didn’t plan out. I started out a Biology major (pre-med, like any good Indian child), but I found myself switching majors in my junior year, and it just clicked. I thank God every day that I found the career for me when I was just 20 years old. 
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