Heaven is for Real - Movie Review

I’m not a big fan of Christian movies.  After seeing Kirk Cameron in one of the Left Behind movies, I didn’t want to waste another cent or another hour watching these poorly made, judgmental or ooey gooey syrupy sweet tales.  But today was a rainy Easter Sunday and my kids were sad that our church picnic/egg hunt was cancelled, so I took them to see Heaven is for Real. 

I wasn’t expecting much but my kids are at an age when they are constantly asking questions about the Bible and our faith.  So, I thought it would have some interesting talking points to encourage dialogue in our home. 

I was surprised that I liked it. It's not a fun Disney flick or an Oscar contender.  It’s a tearjerker, if anyone you’ve ever loved has died.  The surprise was that the movie was just as much about the idea of doubt as it was about the existence of heaven.  Greg Kinnear (whom I’ve loved ever since his performance in As Good as It Gets) gives a stellar performance of an affable family man, who also happens to be a pastor.  I loved his sensitive and tender performance.  He’s a busy dad, who loves his family, but is also struggling financially, emotional, and physically.  When his son needs an emergency surgery for a burst appendix, he gets angry with God, and there begins his journey with doubt. 

If you know a pastor, you know a pastor who has wrestled with doubt. Let me tell you, as a pastor's wife, this movie shows many real life moments from the life of a pastor’s family.   It’s a real life moment when their kids sing, “We will rock you” right after they sang “This little light of mine” in the car.  It’s an uncomfortably real moment when Pastor Burpo has nothing to say from the pulpit on Sunday morning. It’s frustratingly real that this pastor is holding three part-time jobs and he’s still struggling financially.  And it’s an intimidating real life moment, when his church considers firing him, because he speaks honestly about his doubt. 

The one thing that wasn’t very real in this movie was the portrayal of Todd Burpo’s wife.  I don’t know her real life story, but in the movie, she was a stay at home mom, who always stood by her man. She had a terrible singing voice, yet led the choir/praise team. If this is true, it’s just sad.  I think they were trying to make her endearing, because I just wanted to put my hands over my ears. She didn't have any other other talents to share?  She had little to say about their finances, her son’s talk about heaven or her husband’s doubt.  I don’t know many women who would be that uninterested or unwilling to speak their thoughts about life and death in their own homes.  Maybe that’s because I’ve always been an urban pastor’s wife, or a pastor’s wife with a big mouth?  But I have to wonder: It is already hard for Christians to deal with the fact that their leaders wrestle with doubt…  Can Christians deal with a real portrayal of a pastor’s wife?

I think it’s fairly obvious if you read the papers that pastors have a high burnout rate.  Roy Oswald of the Alban Institute, in Washington D.C., says stress and burnout among clergy wives is as high as for pastors. In fact, pastor’s wives are often more stressed, because their husbands struggle with work/life balance.  And guess who is left to pick up the pieces. 

A study from the FASICLD (Francis A. Schaeffer Institute of Church Leadership Development) in 1998 reported that 77% of the pastors we surveyed felt they did not have a good marriage. Lack of communication and finances are two of the top reasons couples get divorced.  So it would be fair to say, if one spouse is struggling with financial pressure and religious doubt (while also being super busy dealing with the problems of others), there is going to be some marital strife. 

Yet in the movie, after Ms. Burpo tells her husband that they are $40,000 in debt, he barely responds.  She smiles and says they’ll be ok.  No crying and screaming?  Come on.  After Todd Burpo goes to a stressful church meeting where the board tells him that they are going to look for a new pastor, he doesn’t tell her about the meeting at all – until she asks later the next morning.  Really?  Is that a healthy marriage based on good communication? 

However, in the movie, the Burgos are seen displaying a lot of physical affection (snuggling and kissing enough to make my kids squirm).  I assume this is because as everyone knows in the movies, even Christian movies, sex solves everything.  I was a little disturbed.  Towards the end of the movie, it is apparent that Ms. Burpo doesn’t share in any the questioning or reasoning that helps Todd decide what to do with his doubt.  Instead, he is shown working out his ideas on an old typewriter downstairs.  And all by himself, not through prayer or reading the Bible, he decides that he believes his son’s story.  Thanks to the existence of heaven he says, “We don’t ever have to be afraid.” Sweet.  
Well - well maybe we do have to be afraid of mischaracterizing pastor's wives as stepford wives.    

 

Anyway, besides my feminist rant, the movie did meet my standards for Christian movies (which is a lower artistic standard - sad but true).  If your kids are asking lots of questions about death and heaven, I would still encourage you to see it as a family.  My 9 year old had lots to say afterwards: “I believe it’s true, mom.  In the Bible, God speaks to lots of people.”  I like hearing things like that out of the mouths of my kids.  Even though my own beliefs about life after death do not match the views presented in the movie, I believe that I could be wrong.  And that’s ok.  God works in mysterious ways, and I like a good mystery. 

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:8 NLT