Speak Life

Each encounter with Jesus changes our life. – Pope Francis

I saw this on Twitter this week.  I’m a little embarrassed that Pope Francis was on Twitter before I was – but he’s got an entourage, I’m sure.  Although wouldn’t it be pretty cool to see him on his iPhone sending out his latest tweet?

In the last few years, I’ve been really working on figuring out how God speaks to me.  I’ve tried long prayers on my knees, listening for the still, small voice. I’ve tried opening the Bible to a random page and letting the words to the talking. I’ve gone to small groups and listened to sermons. I’ve read books and blogs, and talked to my Christian friends and mentors.  God has spoken to me through all of these mediums. These days He also speaks to me through Twitter, Facebook and the radio. 

Last weekend he spoke to me through complete strangers.  I went to a Christian writers conference in Seattle.  I wasn’t looking for a book contract – I was just exploring.  (Really hoping I could find a way to make a few bucks writing.)  My career/calling has been such a whirlwind of emotions while living here in Canada.  I’m still playing the waiting game with immigration, but I know that through this experience God is trying to tell me something. 

So I went to this conference, all by myself.  I was ready to listen.  And God spoke to me.

In the hallways, sharing information about websites, publishers, and agents,

At lunch, while talking to other Christians about their journeys,

And through the speakers, who shared how writing, editing and publishing is their ministry.

When I walked into this building full of strangers, I was anxious.  I wasn't sure who to sit with or who to talk to.  I thought I’d have little in common with them. My mind raced. They’re “west coast.” They didn’t look like me, worship like me, and I probably wouldn’t feel comfortable inviting them over to watch Scandal on Thursday night.

But God used them to speak to me.  And I was surprised.  They ministered to me in a way that I have never felt before.  It was a case of the right people +  in the right place + at the right time.  Coincidence – NO. Nothing is a coincidence when you are praying about it. 

On the long drive home, I thought “Wow – what can I do to bring this feeling to everyone who attends our church?  Better yet, how can I bring this feeling to everyone I come in contact with every day?”   

I live my life, as many of you live yours, living from vacation to vacation– riding one high to another.  What if we could make that high (the special feeling when you know that you are loved by others and blessed by GOD), last every day, all day?  Is that possible? How can I feel a blessed by God high while taking out the trash/doing the dishes/cleaning the bathroom?

Should I whisper a prayer or verse all day long to remind me that I want to be one with Jesus?  I’m usually not a whisper kind of person – I’m an introvert on the outside but in my mind (and alone in my car) I’m loud.  Tobymac loud. 

And then I got it – at his last concert in Abbotsford, Toby (yeah, we're cool like that) shared his story of writing one of his songs, Speak Life.  It was inspired from a quote from Brennan Manning’s book “Abba’s Child. ” The Toby paraphrase goes like this:   “Anyone that we come in contact with, we offer them life or we drain them.”   

This weekend I was lifted up by my experiences and interactions with the people of the Northwest Christian Writers Conference.  As I celebrate God’s gift to us this Easter, I want to pass that gift of life along to someone who needs it. I want to everyone to know and see that I’ve met Jesus.

Do I look fat?

 

Do I look fat?  

 This is the question that everyone hates to answer, because there’s only one correct answer -.  “You look beautiful.”  When I mentioned this is Kumar, he said, “You think I should lie?”   

No – I’m against lying, but I want you to resist the lies that the media (TV, movies, fashion magazines, etc..) have  been feeding you (and me) our whole life and answer in a way that honors the wife, mom, or friend who has asked you the question.  Look deep to see their love or others, kindness to strangers, achievements (big and little) and help them to value the important things instead of what they see in the mirror.   

God doesn’t see your chubby thighs, muffin top, or bad-hair day.  He looks into you and really sees you.  Don’t you wish that everyone saw you as he does?  One day we will all look like supermodels, or actually better than supermodels – in heaven. Philippians 3:21 says, “  He will take our weak mortal bodies and change them into glorious bodies like his own, using the same power with which he will bring everything under his control.”  Until then, the only way to teach our minds to be satisfied with our bodies here on earth is to share God’s love and acceptance with those around us.  To those around me  - especially my close friends who I love, admire, and respect:  If you ask me “Do I look fat?” I’m going to tell you the truth – “You look beautiful.” 

Your Pastor is Not.. - An Old Favorite

Your pastor is a person who is trained to provide spiritual guidance over a congregation of people.  This person usually has skills in preaching, teaching, Bible interpretation and leadership.  They usually need interpersonal skills, counseling skills, musical talent, and media savvy and financial competence.  Occasionally they have skills in other areas as well.  Because they often try to be EVERYTHING to the people of their congregations, church members often get confused and think that their pastors hold other jobs for their congregations.  I just want to clear things up.  Your pastor is not your taxi driver, your personal ATM, your plumber or your mother.  I understand, there are some gray areas…so I’ve made a little list to help you decide whom to call in the following emergencies….

When you want to learn more about the Bible……………………… call/email YOUR PASTOR

When you want to make a donation to a good charity……………… call/email YOUR PASTOR

When you want premarital counseling………………………………call /email YOUR PASTOR

When you want to volunteer to start a new ministry…………………call/email YOUR PASTOR

When the music is too loud at church…………………………………call/email the music leader

When you haven’t received your end of the year giving statement…call/email the church treasurer

When you want to reserve the church fellowship hall……………… call/email the church secretary

When your child heard an inappropriate word in their Bible class….call/email the kids Bible teacher

When your child gets an F on her math test…………………………call/email their teacher

When your dishwasher breaks……………………………………………….call a plumber

When you are having chest pains…………………………………………………..call 911

When you need a ride to the airport……………………………call a friend or Super Shuttle

When you are planning your child’s 1^st birthday party and need someone to dress up as ELMO…………           CALL YOUR BEST FRIEND!!!!!

I know at most contemporary (ie. Rocknroll) churches these days, the pastors seem pretty cool.  But you have to remember, that this is their job.  No matter how friendly or kind your pastor is, your pastor is not your best friend.  This may be a shock to some of you.  But it’s really hard for pastors to be good friends with their parishioners and still maintain the role as spiritual leader/mentor in their lives.

I don’t want to make it seem like pastors don’t ever want to hear from you.  By all means, ask them to pray for your MCAT exams, invite them to your children’s birthday parties, bug them about the powerpoint/heat/length of their sermons, but do it during church/business hours.  Problems with work/life balance are the biggest predictor of ministerial burnout.  If you really love your pastor in his/her role, love him/her as a person and a friend too… and respect those boundaries or be willing to take no for an answer. 

Who's Your Pastor? - Old Favorite

Everybody needs a pastor.  A pastor is probably not someone you sit and listen to every week at church or  on TV, but  a real "spiritual overseer", someone you know and who knows you, someone to pray with and cry with and to be accountable to.  In most cases, this is not the minister at your church.

This may be your best friend, if your best friend is not just the person you eat, shop, and gossip with (not that there is not a time and place for that); but ONLY if you talk with your best friend about the little things in your life.  By little things, I mean the big things.  The things that you secretly worry about  at night (Worries like "Is that spot on my back cancer", "Does my kid have a learning disability?" or "Should marriage be this hard?").

If you are a Christian, this person should be able to talk you down from those emotional cliffs in a sensible and Biblical way.  I have a pastor, maybe a few pastors in my life, and none of them are my husband and none of them work in a church. Don't get me wrong.  I love listening to the sermons at my church. I often find great spiritual truths in them that I can apply to my life, but those are not the people I share my real spiritual life with.  In fact, I've always hated "pastoral visits" where you pretend to tell your pastor your problems so they can pray with you.  I can't really share my spiritual journey with someone I barely know in a 1 hour lunch meeting.

The deepest, most memorable, spiritual conversations I've had with my "pastors" has been sitting by the hot tub debating whether God has ONE plan for my life or if there is more than one RIGHT path.  Some of the most heart wrenching sermons have taken place on the couch at the vacation condo, spilling my heart to my "pastors." The real convictions come out when my "pastor" is calling me out about something over a cup of coffee.   I don't always know the right answers afterwards, but I know that someone who knows God and knows me, knows my heart.  And they will follow up on our conversation, supporting and loving me all the way.  That's a pastor.

As a pastor's wife, I keep hearing about the stress in many pastor's lives, and I sincerely think it's because they often  don't have their own pastor.  Someone has to be the pastor's pastor.  Who can it be? It usually can't be a church member, because if you knew the humanity of your pastor, it might be hard to still put them on that pastoral pedestal (which they shouldn't be on anyway).  A pastor may have another pastor as their pastor.  That sometimes works well, because they understand the calling and the person.  A pastor may have a best friend from childhood as their pastor.  That person  knew them  before they had a "title."  We are more than our titles.  We are people and we are pastors.  And I believe EVERYBODY needs a pastor.

Are we #1?

After reading about the World Vision scandal and the whole General Conference conference on sexuality , I’ve been wondering why Christians hate others that are different than them.  

It was a problem noted throughout the Bible.  The Jews of Jesus time did not want to accept Gentiles as part of their Christian faith.  The Jews didn’t even like Jesus during his time in ministry (he was different than what the Pharisees had expected).  The Jews of the Old Testament did not like the “pagans” that were in “their” land when they came to Israel.  We even see examples of pagan women taking down the “hero” in the story (i.e. Samson).  Did God start that battle with his commands in the Old Testament (see 1 Samuel 15*) or did the battle start even earlier, when Satan started the original war in heaven?

Although it’s easy to make the assumption that Christians are hateful to others.  I tried to take the issue outside of my Judeo-Christian paradigm.  Is hatred or fear of people who are different a part of Christianity or is it a part of the human experience?   In the United States – people of minority faiths like to cast the blame on Christians.  We’re the majority here.  But in other parts of the world, Muslims hate others that are different than them. We’ve seen that in the many acts of terrorism in my lifetime.  (I’m not picking on Muslims, Christianity had years of extreme terrorism, and if Jesus doesn’t come soon, maybe Jews, Hindus and Buddhists will have their chance to kill others in the name of religion too).  On a more everyday level, many cultural groups (Jews, blacks, Asians) frown upon marrying outside their race, upholding the idea of classism and superiority. 

Humans hate others who are different than them.  Why?

 Is that the only way to believe that we are doing the RIGHT THING?  Is there one Right Thing for everyone? Scientists have studied the American obsession with winning for year.  We wave our “We’re #1” banners (figuratively and literally), in our churches,  sports arenas, and on out TV shows (Why else would anyone watch or compete on silly shows like The Bachelor?).  This preoccupation with the outcome, rather than the journey, takes away from the good that we can gain in our human experience.  As Christians, spending all of our time preparing for heaven, we may neglect our families, our neighbors, our talents and our environment here on earth.  I don’t presume to know every culture take on this issue. Here in Canada there is very little obsession with winning, but many other countries (Russia, China, Spain, Great Britain…) have or have had a nationalistic preoccupation with conquering others with their “truth.” 

As our world become smaller (through the amazing gains in transportation and communication technology), it will be interesting if we all have to take a step back and respect and accept others in all of their differences, rather than beat them.

*On closer inspection of the Old Testament texts of God speaking to the Israelites before their battles, to me, it doesn’t look like God hates people who are different than his followers.  In Joshua 6, He was/is more than willing to save Rahab and her family in Jericho when she helped the Israelites and later joined them.  In I Samuel its says that Samuel said to Saul “This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies has declared: I have decided to settle accounts with the nation of Amalek for opposing Israel when they came from Egypt. 3 Now go and completely destroy the entire Amalekite nation—men, women, children, babies, cattle, sheep, goats, camels, and donkeys.”   How much of that statement was directly from God and how much was shaded my Samuel’s perceptions of how God was going to work in this battle? I guess it depends on where you stand from a denominational standpoint on the literality of Scripture.  Hmmmnn - Great sermon topic – Kumar?

Hooked on a happy pill

My sister in law was the first to talk with me about mental illness. She has a long and open relationship with her “crazy pill” and I’m sometimes appalled and sometimes amazed by her candor in person and on her blog.   She’s an extrovert (from the Dixit clan), and I’m an introvert, so I never thought I’d be sharing my health issues on a blog.  But when I started thinking about my 40^th birthday, I thought about sharing.  I’m an introvert so I wrote the post, edited, spell checked, rewrote, edited again and then posted my top 40 list.  When I hit share, I panicked. I texted Reema and told her that I was sharing my issues. See our conversation on the left:

 Today I got confirmation (a phone call from back East), telling me exactly that - a little honesty can inspire others.   Inspired by my great older SIL and this phone call, I’m ready to share more. 

I wasn’t crazy my whole life.  I didn’t have a bad childhood – no drama, abuse or despair. I had the regular immigrant life, with parents and an extended family that loved me.  I grew up, got multiple degrees, had many friends, got married, had 3 kids – this was the life I always wanted.  So what was I depressed about? 

Part of is was mental, part of it was situational (work stress and a long dark winter), and part of it was physical (and there was a genetic component).  Depression and mental illness is just like any other disease – obesity, diabetes, or near sightedness. It doesn’t go away on its own. It actually gets worse when you do nothing. You have to do something about it – change something.  I’m so glad that I acknowledged it and let myself out.  Life is hard – for fun people and boring people. Life is hard for everyone.  No amount of money, friends, vacations, or success can change that. Behind all of the smiling faces you see everyday, is a story.  Everyone’s story has happy parts and sad parts, devastatingly sad parts. It’s the legacy of sin. 

I’m not alone.  The CDC reports that depression affects 1 in 10 Americans at some time in their lives.  If you look online, you can find tons of famous people who have disclosed their battles with depression. Eighty percent of those with symptoms of depression are not receiving any treatment.  Before there were other options, some just lived in sadness, anger, or isolation.   Others used whatever was available – alcohol, cigarettes, or other street drugs to numb themselves.  A lot of us geniuses live with mental health issues – Beethoven, Abraham Lincoln, even Michelangelo. Are we crazy? Naaah – there may be a cure (or many cures). 

Modern medicine works.  Despite what that idiotic, false propaganda promoter Jenny McCarthy says, (I’ll get on that soapbox another time) - drugs work.  God gave humans the talent and skill to create medicines that can change our bodies and minds.  Drugs may have side effects, they may not cure or prevent every disease, but in many if not most cases, medicine works. 

            For me, medicine makes me a better version of myself.  I had the usual worries, I’m gonna be a slow-talking, emotionless robot.  In my experience, the opposite happened.  The medicine I started off with made me feel almost instantly better.  It “took the edge off” of my angry and sad emotions, so I could reason through problems instead of hiding under the covers or flying off the handle.  Medicine is not the only thing that helps – diet, exercise, talk therapy and sunlight also help.  In the words of brain researcher (*insert sarcasm*) Gwyneth Paltrow –  "our thoughts and emotions have far more influence on our health than we've ever imagined." The mind and body are connected! 

           Sure, I could have avoided the stigma of depression by not admitting it to myself or to my doctor.  I could have just been another “normal” person – no diagnosis, no medications to list on my health forms. Just another healthy, fake happy 40 year old!

  

        After I started treating my depression, I didn’t just feel happier. This is gonna sound crazy- but I felt like superwoman.  I was willing to try new things. I became much more productive in my work and home life. I began pinteresting and actually making the recipes/matching the outfits/and DIYing the house.  I now think of my “happy” pill as my “magic” pill.  It gives me superpowers.  I can choose to believe that the medicine is a drug that improves all of my God given talents.  Or maybe the medicine isn’t that awesome – maybe I am talented and capable of so much more than my depressed mind could fathom. Either way – I’ll take it.  I’ve lived with depression. I am living with depression.  Depression and I will probably have a long and happy life together – Sounds good to me.   Or maybe that’s my magic pill talking.