All or None

As I lay in bed tears leaking from my eyes about what’s going on at the General Conference session, I like many of my peers, thought about what my response can be.  I thought about how there are administrators that I admire and administrators that I loathe.  There are pastors that I respect and pastors that I dislike.  There are people in my life that I treasure and people I try to stay away from.  Relationships between sinners are difficult like that.

Although the World Church chose to not to allow divisions to make their own decisions about women's ordination in the  SDA church, for me, I believe all Christians are ordained to be ministers to our congregations of family, friends and acquaintances. 

I’ve written about this before, but the pastor of my church has rarely been the person who leads me to Christ, convicts me in times of (what I thought was) righteous anger, or counsels me in times of hardship. 

1 Peter 4:9 “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”

Martin Luther used the zeal of this message to spark the reformation and the birth of Protestantism. (http://www.nacministers.com/priesthood-of-all-believers)  In the Old Testament, only priests were allowed access to God, through the entering of “the holy place.”  When Jesus died, that veil was torn as a signal that we all have direct access to God.  It’s why we are Protestant.  It is why, although I like what I’ve seen of Pope Francis, I do not think he is the supreme spiritual leader of the church with the power to control church doctrine.  

Only God convicts each and every one of us of our callings and our sins.  The Adventist church holds the priesthood of believers as one our central beliefs.  There are some within the church who even suggest baptism is ordination.  (https://adventistbiblicalresearch.org/sites/default/files/pdf/Edwards-Priesthood_of_believers.pd)

Not only does that make sense Biblically, it would solve the argument within our denomination right now.  So what should my response be to the hateful comments I see and hear on social media today?  

My own response has to go back to my own convictions and my own call to ministry as a busy, loving, serving member, a minister, of my church. 

One again, I thank God for the ministers who I see serving daily in the lives of those around me:

-The child who brings an ice pack to the bully to harassed him on the playground.

-The couple that share their home with the blind woman who has nowhere to live.

-The father who lovingly cares of his severely disabled adult son.

-The daughter who rushes to her father’s bedside without holding the grudge of physical and mental abuse she dealt with 30 years ago.

-The woman who drives her friend to the emergency room and the police station, again, because of an argument at home.

-The wife who takes in the illegitimate children of her husband because she committed to loving him now and forever, regardless of his past. 

These, along with whoever is speaking at the pulpit this week, are the people ordained by God. These people may not get paid by the conference or thanks during Pastor’s appreciation month in October, but they are the mothers, fathers, children, sisters and brothers who love, give and sacrifice but rarely complain.

If the Bible is true, we are all ordained or none of us are. 

Acts 4: 10 "Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy."

To the many pastors around me, who are ordained by God.  Thank you for your love. Thank you for your ministry.

Five Things Your Pastor’s Wife Wants You to Know

1.   Stop talking about church  - Some pastors try not to socialize with their parishioners, but for me, the majority my friends are friends that I made at church; but that is not the only thing we have in common.  We can talk about current events, TV, music, movies, and food – I love many of the same things that “normal” people do.  If we are getting together and it’s not a church function, let’s have a “no church-talk” policy.  Let's be people of many talents and interests, and we’ll be better friends in the end.

      2.  Give me some breathing room on Sabbath.  When my husband steps into church, he’s on pastor mode and gets to work greeting, downloading his slides, doing last minute counseling, etc. That's what he's paid to do.  When I step into church, I am the harried single parent – The second I walk in, I am trying to keep track of 3 kids who are sometimes slapping each other, running in different directions and collecting candy from the greeters.  I’m usually carrying a casserole for potluck, gathering supplies for Sabbath school classes, and praying that the teachers show up. If my husband is speaking, during the sermon, I have corral the kids, keep them quiet and not crawling over and under the pews (yes, even seven year olds do this! WHY???), and smile good-naturedly while my husband shares personal stories of our life.  Sabbath morning is not the best time to invite me to your Tupperware party or give me a receipt that has to get to the church treasurer.  I love going to church, but Sabbaths are exhausting for an introvert like me – even if I get a nap on Saturday afternoon I probably won’t remember what you said/gave to me until Sunday morning.

      3.  Don’t introduce me as “the pastor’s wife” –This happens to me not only at church, but also at parties, the grocery store and at my kids’ school.  Last year someone actually introduced me “Mrs. Pastor Kumar.”  I know you think my husband is awesome and popular and I must be so thrilled to be associated with him, but being referred to as the pastor’s wife, often brings up expectations in people’s minds.  I feel their eyes look me up and down and their thoughts are written on their faces.   Yes, I'm the pastor's wife, but I am also my own person, with a brain, personality, and a first name.  I’d rather you said, “This is my friend, Rej”

      4.  Go slow.  Most friendships take time to grow and evolve.  You might think that you know me (because I’m seen or talked about from the pulpit), but I don’t necessarily know you…yet. I’ve been lucky to be at great churches where many times, I felt people were eager to be my new best friend.  They could have been well meaning or they might want to be in the “inner circle” – either way, the eagerness felt creepy.  Pastor’s wives are known to be aloof and withdrawn – we have to be careful with who we confide in, because we’ve been burned.  So be friendly.  Go ahead and overshare if you want to - I'm used to it.  But let me take my time.  The closest, long-lasting friendships in my life are like marinated jungle ribs, cooked low, slow and spicy.

    5.  Speak up – The family of the pastor sometimes gets perks (extra dessert from potluck and maybe a special parking spot), but we also get a lot of criticism.  If you are an actual friend of ours, I expect you to speak up for my family when we are being criticized.  A simple, “ We may not know the whole story,” will suffice.  It’s probably a good practice to say that when you hear criticism or gossip about anybody.  That’s friendship.  

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