What about Halloween?

If you grew up in the North American church, especially in the 70s and 80s, you might have some fear and trepidation at the thought of celebrating Halloween.  When I small, my parents only knew Halloween as an American tradition of dressing up and going house to house asking for candy.  It was as unusual (and pagan) as Christmas tress and Easter eggs.  In their effort to help my brother and I fit into our suburban neighborhood, we participated. Those years gave me many happy memories of peeking into very American homes and meeting people who were different from us.  Because my Halloweens were family-friendly, I continued the tradition with my kids in our neighborhoods, leaving the porch light on and vying for title of “House with the Best Candy”.  I’m so glad to have always lived in neighbourhoods that were centres of Halloween fun and to have always belonged to a church that embraces Halloween as a missional opportunity for our families.

At OAC, my current church, we believe that Oct 31 - Halloween, presents a rare 'evangelistic' opportunity to connect with ones neighbours, where it is acceptable and expected that strangers will open the door, greet each other and give to each other. So we are challenging OACers:  Rather than being known as the curmudgeonly Christians on the block, let's be known for reflecting God's welcome and generous spirit.  When people knock on our door Oct 31, along with the "treats" we are hosting a neighbourhood gathering on Halloween night to share cider and hot chocolate, and get to know each other better.  This was an awesome idea from our church Outreach committee, they are even providing the beverages for free.  I hope our church members will be known as the best neighbours, not just for candy and celebrations, but also as a place to go when others are in need of a friend or a listening ear.  

Other ideas for a family friendly Halloween:

Preschooler – Kids under 5 may not really know much about Halloween, but they do enjoy fall celebrations such as trips to the pumpkin patch and apple picking. Let them dress up for the event, as most kids enjoy dressing up every chance they get.  Since young kids may see “scary” things on TV and at stores, like jack-o-lanterns and spiderwebs, so it’s a good idea to prepare them by telling them that some people like to scare each other during this season.  Remind them that God is bigger than any scary creature we can dream up. 

Elementary School – If there are dress up activities and parties at their school or in their neighborhood, talk to your kids about what the activities will contain and if they fit with your values.  Dressing up, eating candy and visiting with neighbors don’t have to be off-limits, but set guidelines on what kind of costumes are acceptable, how much candy is acceptable and which homes they may visit (neighborhood, friends and family,  or the mall). 

Tween and Youth – Plan to do something age appropriate and fun.  Many kids may be invited to do things your family is not comfortable with, including haunted houses or horror movies.  If your kids have a fun alternative (bowling, trampoline park, or just party at your house), they won’t feel the peer pressure to participate in activities that are not healthy for safe or them.

Whatever you decide to do for Halloween, remember that the most important thing is to talk with your kids about it.  Values are only shared with future generations by constant, open, safe conversations between people who love each other. 

Share the Love...

So the Pope’s visit to the US was big deal last week.  I found myself watching the coverage, not only because he was in places I grew up, but also because everything I can’t help but like him.  As a major religious figure, it’s pretty common for people to have strong opinions about him, but I’m a little sickened by the constant words of skepticism (by Christians) about Pope Francis’ ability to be a genuine man of God.

I say “man of God” just as I would call other Christian men I know, men of God.  To Catholics, the pope is a moral authority and there is a whole hierarchical structure to who has God’s ear.  Protestants do not like the idea of one person holding moral authority on the rest of us.  Whether it’s the pope, our local pastor, or the church member sitting beside, us… we don’t want to be judged.  I think this viewpoint is pretty legitimate.  Although sometimes the Bible does say that we are to call out our brothers and hold them accountable. 

That is what Pope Francis did during his trip to the US.   He called on Congress to think about the environment.  He talked to the UN about working together with other nations, being less selfish with our money and resources.  He’s working for social justice, the same things that many of our churches aspire to do.  Can we acknowledge that on some issues we are on the same side?  

Some are wary of the Pope because of Catholicism’s brutal history.  But if we look deep enough, almost every culture and religion has a history of conquering, converting and killing others.  Great power usually comes with great selfishness.  But should we judge the current Pope based on his family of origin? Do you want your friends judging you based on the things they’ve seen Christians do?  I sure don’t.  Just as God will judge each one of our lives, he will also judge presidents, rulers and pope’s according to what they’ve individually done to share his love. 

From what I’ve seen, Pope Francis’ words may be thoughtful and measured, but he doesn’t seem –calculating – in fact he often goes off script – and against tradition, to share love with others. 

The worst argument I’ve heard again Pope Francis, is that he looks to good to be true. “That’s what the Bible says the anti-Christ will be like. He’ll fool everyone.”  This argument is quite pessimistic.  Should we dismiss anyone who does good on earth as possible suspects for the antichrist?  Oprah, Bill Gates, Bono, Mother Theresa, Dali Lama – all individuals who have taken great pains to be humanitarians in and effort to better our world.  And all I keep hearing about them is, “It’s part of a plan. He/She wants to rule the world with his/her own despicable power and ambition.”  Some of you have been watching too many Disney cartoons.  I know our world will never be fixed by human power, but that should not prevent us from trying to do right, within our communities and our religious systems.  Knowing that humans are naturally selfish should not make us look at the actions of others with such scrutiny, that we become negative in our worldview. 

Instead I think we should study these people who have sway among people and governments – Why do I feel drawn to their words?   Why are their words valued even outside of their religious/cultural communities?  

For me the draw is their compassionate spirit.  I see a gentleness about Pope Francis. Sure, he’s got the cute accent and he’s a little old white haired man.  But even with the cape and hat on, he radiates humility – he speaks softly, lives simply, and draws energy from his interactions with others.  The President of the United States met him at the airport, and small children were drawn to him in the streets.  He met with anti-gay county clerk Kim Davis and he met openly gay old friends.  Somehow all of these people were open to dialogue because they knew they would be received with kindness.  His love for others is palpable.   Pope Francis interacted with all of those people, not according to their positions, age, or actions. But he treated them with dignity, respect and genuine love. He is a pastor, who can stand at the podium on the world stage, and also smile and wave from the back of a Fiat.

We know that humans are flawed, and often choose evil over virtue, but we can’t live our lives on earth distrustful of each other – because it is not what Jesus did. When he came to earth, he knew he was going to be betrayed by those around him, but that didn’t stop him from being with people constantly.   He spoke to them in large groups and dined with them in their homes.  He loved them and let them get uncomfortably close, even including (Judas) in to his inner circle.

Let’s stop praising only those who are like us- people who share our features, cultural history or religious beliefs. That kind of praise keeps in isolation from the world around us, and reeks of racism and cultishness. Instead of being whistle blowing, judgmental Christians; Can we be the positive Christians who see good in others? 

Love is not a judgment or winning argument.  Love does not belong to us alone to hoard in our churches or homes. It roots for others.  It believes in others.  Love wins.

Pastors Wives 101

***Warning **** This is a snarky post. If you can't take a joke, or do not understand sarcasm, please do not read my blog.  It will only make both of us unhappy.   

Kumar and I have been married for 15 years this November, and although we haven’t moved around excessively, I’ve gotten pretty good at judging up the many pastoral couples that I meet.  I know judging people is wrong, but if you don’t size up who you are talking to, especially in the world of Christianity, you are likely to offend or be offended pretty quickly.  For you newbies for pastoral ministry, or just laypeople who like watching us in our front row pew, here’s my take on the different types of pastor’s wives in North America:

The Clueless pastor’s wife – She’s happy go lucky, doing whatever her heart desires.  She didn’t think twice about marrying a pastor, because she was never aware of people’s judging eyes on her too short skirt or nasty remarks about her husband’s sermon.  She may not know and definitely doesn’t care about people’s expectations.  She doesn’t know about women’s retreat, or hasn’t the first clue on how to teach children’s Sabbath school and didn’t think twice about bringing fried chicken for potluck. 

The Angry pastor’s wife – She grew up in the age of women’s liberation but found herself stuck at home with the kids while her husband accepts call after call to a new position.  She has too many degrees to enjoy the time off, driving to church with her husband, putting up bulletin boards and going out for tea with church members.  She does it grudgingly.  She says she’s authentic, but she may just be rebellious.  It’s kind of obvious when she’s wearing a leather skinny jeans and a tattoo that says, “Wanna a piece of me?”  If she catches you making any comments about her, she will call you out.  Be afraid.

The Stepford pastor’s wife – She’s always perfect, unassuming, gentle and agreeable: “Yes, of course you can invite people over at the last minute.  You’ve been away all week and I’m tired from prayer meeting until midnight at our house last night, and I played the piano for first service and taught a lesson for the Sabbath school teacher who didn’t show up, but I’ll pull something out of the fridge and make it work.  Sabbath is for serving? “

The Mysterious pastor’s wife – She’s rarely seen, except for a few minutes each Sabbath.  She’s probably sleeping in and taking a separate car to make it for the last 20 minutes of her hubby’s sermon.  Sometimes she hides in the pastor’s office, so she doesn’t have to make awkward conversations with church members who want to give her husband a message, banana bread or a new book on the antichrist. 

This pastor’s wife may be away for weeks on end, taking care of an even more mysterious aging parent or frail child.  

The Enthusiastic pastor’s wife – This woman is not afraid of the microphone.  Most extroverted pastor’s wives share the pulpit with the pastor as a pastoral couple.  They preach in skirt suits or pant suits and high heels, strutting their stuff on stage and banging the fist on the podium.  If this pastor’s wife is in the pew during her husband’s sermon, she isn’t afraid to yell out an “Amen” or a correction to a personal story.  In fact, she might be mic-ed in her pew, and if the sermon is videotaped or live streamed, the camera is on her like Taylor Swift at the Grammies.  

Stop being offended and enjoy my sarcastic sense of humour.  We are all terrible and all wonderful….in our own ways. I love them all and so should you.

All or None

As I lay in bed tears leaking from my eyes about what’s going on at the General Conference session, I like many of my peers, thought about what my response can be.  I thought about how there are administrators that I admire and administrators that I loathe.  There are pastors that I respect and pastors that I dislike.  There are people in my life that I treasure and people I try to stay away from.  Relationships between sinners are difficult like that.

Although the World Church chose to not to allow divisions to make their own decisions about women's ordination in the  SDA church, for me, I believe all Christians are ordained to be ministers to our congregations of family, friends and acquaintances. 

I’ve written about this before, but the pastor of my church has rarely been the person who leads me to Christ, convicts me in times of (what I thought was) righteous anger, or counsels me in times of hardship. 

1 Peter 4:9 “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”

Martin Luther used the zeal of this message to spark the reformation and the birth of Protestantism. (http://www.nacministers.com/priesthood-of-all-believers)  In the Old Testament, only priests were allowed access to God, through the entering of “the holy place.”  When Jesus died, that veil was torn as a signal that we all have direct access to God.  It’s why we are Protestant.  It is why, although I like what I’ve seen of Pope Francis, I do not think he is the supreme spiritual leader of the church with the power to control church doctrine.  

Only God convicts each and every one of us of our callings and our sins.  The Adventist church holds the priesthood of believers as one our central beliefs.  There are some within the church who even suggest baptism is ordination.  (https://adventistbiblicalresearch.org/sites/default/files/pdf/Edwards-Priesthood_of_believers.pd)

Not only does that make sense Biblically, it would solve the argument within our denomination right now.  So what should my response be to the hateful comments I see and hear on social media today?  

My own response has to go back to my own convictions and my own call to ministry as a busy, loving, serving member, a minister, of my church. 

One again, I thank God for the ministers who I see serving daily in the lives of those around me:

-The child who brings an ice pack to the bully to harassed him on the playground.

-The couple that share their home with the blind woman who has nowhere to live.

-The father who lovingly cares of his severely disabled adult son.

-The daughter who rushes to her father’s bedside without holding the grudge of physical and mental abuse she dealt with 30 years ago.

-The woman who drives her friend to the emergency room and the police station, again, because of an argument at home.

-The wife who takes in the illegitimate children of her husband because she committed to loving him now and forever, regardless of his past. 

These, along with whoever is speaking at the pulpit this week, are the people ordained by God. These people may not get paid by the conference or thanks during Pastor’s appreciation month in October, but they are the mothers, fathers, children, sisters and brothers who love, give and sacrifice but rarely complain.

If the Bible is true, we are all ordained or none of us are. 

Acts 4: 10 "Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy."

To the many pastors around me, who are ordained by God.  Thank you for your love. Thank you for your ministry.