Live here forever?

I recently received the most amazing advice from a well traveled family that immigrated to Canada before we did.   “Live as though you are going to stay here forever - Stop planning to leave.“  What?!!!  What about our 5 year plan? Kumar and I have our Canadian drivers licenses, and I’ve sent it for my permanent residency papers, but maybe this well-meaning church member heard about our 1-year rental lease or he heard me say,  “The kids need to learn their states and capitals- how will they manage high school when we go back?” Or maybe he saw the large mirror in our bedroom that Kumar has been lazy about hanging, because “It’s not worth the effort - what if we move? “  Home is and may always be Maryland for me, but I need to try to love it here. 

I like familiarity, but I'm not a tied by the umbilical cord to my mommy, typical Indian kid.  This is not my first time away from my Maryland home – I went to grad school in California and then lived there for a few years while Kumar got his Masters degree.  This is the third time I've moved cross country.   Each time I left, I went apprehensively, and ended up leaving apprehensively.  My brother, who drove with me on one of those trips said, “You cry when you leave MD and you cry when you go back – get over it.” (I’m not sure if he said the “Get over it” part but I’m sure he was thinking it.)

 I hate change.  Even a vacation more than 2 weeks long, is uncomfortable to me.  I like my bed. The way I deal with it is to count the days until life can get back to normal (the way it used to be).  But you can’t go back to the past.  It’s over. 

Leaving Maryland last year with my children was by far the hardest move I’ve ever done.  The drama of leaving with all of the things that we accumulated, our possessions, our kids, essentially “our lives” was hard.  So the way that we dealt with it was by saying it is/was short term.  Hopefully after a certain number of years, one of us will get a job that will move us back East.  It’s still the plan in my heart, but I’m softening.  

I do believe that God lead us here – slowly, carefully, through circumstances and through the prayers and words of many people.  If I believe that, I have to live like I believe that Canada is where I belong and where I may stay.  God may move us again (hopefully back to the States) but until he does, we have to live fully in our new lives. When I hold myself back from this commitment, I give up on making close friends, and long term decisions about school, work, housing, everything.  Time pining for the past is time wasted.  This may be hard for my Maryland friends and family to read.  I love them dearly, but I don’t think our relationships have ended– they continue to grow every day that we communicated through phone calls, Facebook, viber and visits.   I loved my life in Maryland, and I’m starting to love life here.  (And it’s not even spring yet – if that’s not a testament to the power of God I don’t know what is).  

These new friends and experiences that we are making as a family are one day going to be the things that we remember fondly.  So we have to live it and enjoy it.  The life we chose makes us pare down our possessions regularly (We try not be be hoarders), but our collection of memories are vast.  God has been very generous to us. 

One day, I will get to live with all of my friends and family that I love and I will be able to see them and communicate with them regularly – its called Heaven.  If I really believe in the eternal future that God has in store for me, I have to be willing to trust Him with my life here on earth.