I first entertained thoughts on God's gender when I took a required religion class at Loma Linda University, and the instructor told us that he always prayed "mother God." He said God as a mother resonated with him and his upbringing as a child of a single mother. I wasn't quite the feminist that I am now, so I didn't think much of it. I just figured it was an interesting concept that I didn't have much time for. I was busy in grad school and although I enjoyed religious debate, I just wanted to pass the class without much thought.
But recently a friend of mine, who grew up in a nontraditional home, wrote this beautiful poem that expressed her need for God as mother. It gave me chills. I wanted to save it for myself and share it with my friends, so here it is.
i dont want god the "Father"
i want god the "mother-i-never-had"
i dont want angry, ruthless war god
i want hold-me-while-I sob-in-the-dark god
i don't want kill-them-all-and-take-their-wives god
i want soft god, kiss-on-the-forehead god
i dont want dead-beat-daddy god
i want where-you-go-i-will-follow god
i want the moon at dawn in the gently haze
not blaring sun in the blinding snow
i want god with the voice of maya angelou
I don't want thunder-in-the-storm god
but lata mangeshkar singing sweet ghazals
i want,
i need,
have always needed
god who is female
la méré, maman, ma
Anjalica is a free spirit English honours and sociology student at UBC. She is a member of the Oakridge Adventist church in Vancouver. She is a frequent performer at local poetry slams and is the BEST BABYSITTER IN THE WORLD (because she always entertained my children and they thought of her as a big sister). She will always be a part of our extended family.
